Forbidden Short Stories of the Exploration Corps
by OfInkandFeather
Summary: People know it. There can be no love affair between two soldiers. It's forbidden. Simply because loving a soldier is hard when you face death every single day. It's harder to loose a lover than to loose a comrade or a friend. But still, what they felt, no one could possibly forbid it. - All pairings. - Characters belong to Hajime Isayama.
1. Tea Time - Levi x Mikasa

**Tea Time - Levi x Mikasa**

One summer night, Levi went to the roofs of their HQ to have a break. It was definitely hot inside, and his mind was so disturbed that he could not sleep. He supposed he would be alone. Better that way, though : he became rude when he was tired and annoyed. That is to say, even ruder than he usually was. It would be bad that he came across some poor innocent trainee and began to throw his anger over him.

The corporal reached the top of the roof, ignoring the splendid landscape offered to his eyes, and inhaled as much air as he could. During the process, he smelled a fruity fragrance. That was strange, on a night like that one. But he imagined that those were the smells of the kitchen, down there, and didn't allow it many importance. He walked a little, surrounded by the luscious smell of tea and fruits, feeling a little annoyed and curious, when he heard a noise. And then that cold voice :  
"Corporal ?... I thought I was the only one who came here."  
He slowly turned to face her. A wild breeze made her hair float, forcing her to keep it out of her face. She was wearing a night gown and a cardigan, and walked with bare feet. He would never admit it but, after getting used to see her with her uniform and red scarf, he was surprised to see her in such a light dress. Actually, he could hardly refrain himself from glancing at her bare legs, at her neck or at her shoulders. She seemed a lot more feminine and almost pretty. 'Almost', because he wasn't supposed to think this way about one of his subordinates : even wearing a night gown, she was a soldier, and he mustn't forget that. He also noticed that she was holding something in her hands, a teapot maybe. The fruity, sweet smell of before was probably her drink's.

"I thought the same, Ackerman. What are you doing here ?"  
"I should ask you that question too." She was as cold as always, yet her eyes glanced at him with a new look. "I just couldn't sleep, so I made tea and I came here until I'm sleepier."  
"I would have expected Blouse to sneak into the kitchen at nighttime, not you." She grinned at the mention of her glouton friend.

"Actually, she comes too when we both can't sleep. You weren't so far from the truth."  
There was a tiny, very tiny tone of amusement in her voice, which made him relax. After a short silence and a staring-match, she offered him to have a cup of tea with her. He didn't reply, following her with mixed-feelings. She wasn't that nice nor generous usually ; or, well, she wasn't with him. He had hitten Eren, after all, and she would never forget that. She couldn't make him pay for that, due to his superiority, but she allowed herself to shoot daggers at him with her eyes. He, on the other hand, considered that she was being too overprotective : he wasn't her child, and not even from her biological family.

Moreover, was he worth all her devotion ? Certainly not. The last time she had saved him, he didn't even thank her, or look grateful. Levi knew he wouldn't have Mikasa's pacience : he would have left him in his problems until the little brat ask him for help. But she was too nice towards him. No matter how ignorant and reckless he was, she would be his guardian angel. But her superior felt that she was hurt, and he almost had pity for her. 'Almost', because she was one of the toughest soldier of the whole Human Army ; he could never pity such a strong woman, that would be disrespectful.

When he saw her sitting near a chimney, his eyes narrowed. "Dust, smoke, ashes... Disgusting." She probably read his mind since she sighed and, taking off her cardigan, she left him sitting on her clothes. He found himself smiling at her thoughtfulness, and muttered a short "Thank you, Ackerman" while she filled two cups with tea. She grinned back at him and replied :  
"Your welcome, captain. I should have guessed that you would never sit on a roof like that."

She drank slowly her tea, and he heard her sigh a little. Levi wondered if she wasn't cold now. After all, it was nighttime, and even in summer, it wasn't so warm without a jacket. But she did no complaint about the weather. Small talk would be ridiculous, they both knew. Small talk was something people in the streets could do, but it wasn't something for the two strongest soldiers of mankind. They have seen, felt and lost so much that complaining about a windy winter or a rainy summer would sound ludicrous. They were pretty much like each other : orphans, skilled fighter, with a cold gaze and a burning heart. They had both thought, at one determined moment of their lives, that noone could have suffered as much as them. But they were wrong : they were at the same level of pain. Broken muppets, glass-eyed dolls, porcelain hearts. They could break at the first pain, at the least hit. And yet, they miraculously lived.

Humans are frail creatures. They need someone to live for. Even the poorest souls, the most damaged ones needed a reason to live : a friend, a family, something to protect, something that's worth it. Mikasa had Eren and, in a least measure, Armin ; Levi devoted himself to his soldiers ; Eren lived to exterminate titans. They lived because they had a goal. Most of those who died had a goal too, much they weren't strong enough to achieve it. Levi and Mikasa Ackerman had strengh enough to avenge them all, to make their dreams reality : discovering the outside world, conquer the Wall Maria... It was a weight on their small shoulders, but they had no other choice than to deal with it.

"I've heard that the expedition for the conquest of the Wall Maria would be ready soon", Mikasa said suddenly.

"Yes. In something like a month."  
"Hum... And that you would be responsible of the serum that changes people into titans."

"Yes. I'll have to choose to who I must inject it, if necessery."

Short silence. They drank more tea without speaking. The subject was much more serious than anything they had expected to talk about. But after all, they were soldiers. They could hardly talk about... well, common things.

"I've noticed something... You're not as rude as usually." Levi raised an eyebrown. "You're actually pretty nice, 'en't you ?"

" _Little brat_."  
"Ah, I knew it wouldn't last. _Shorty_."

They glanced at each other, while throwing insults in a polite tone. It was a game of who would last the longest. They had plenty of ideas of how they could hurt the others feelings, but actually they stopped soon. It was unfair : Levi wasn't responsible for being short, and neither Mikasa was for being stubbornly devoted to Eren. As he realized that, the corporal managed to say :  
"You really would do anything for him, wouldn't you ?" She nodded slowly, avoiding his gaze. "To be honest, I don't think he deserves so much. You worth more than that child."

"Maybe. But he's the very last thing I can protect. He saved me as a child and his family picked me up when I was alone. He gave me a reason to live in this merciless world. I think that if I leave him alone, he'll die and... I would be alone again... That's idiotic, I know."  
"Kind of. But I can understand." She finished her cup of tea and he saw a drop of the hot infusion holding onto her lip. He raised a hand to catch it, and she jumped when it touched her lower lip. Her pale cheeks became pink as roses, as well as his heart began to beat faster. "There was something on your lip", he explained, embarassedly. "What do you think ?..."  
"N-nothing. Nothing..."

They came back to their first topic, that is to say the expedition. Mikasa confessed that she really hoped that everything would turn out fine, on the contrary of what happened during the 57th expedition out of the walls. They must conquer Wall Maria, and put an end at the domination of the titans. But she also wondered what cost would they have to pay : how many friends would die in those expeditions ? how many would loose their fights ? how many would come back to their home ? Levi said nothing, but the picture of his last squad, of his four dead friends, made him greeth his teeth. He could never promise that everybody would come back, with no injuries. He could neither protect his comrades, or at least not all of them. There would be sacrifices anyways.  
But as he looked at Mikasa, he promised himself that he would do his best for her to live. It was kind of sad to think that such a young girl had so many scars, so many injuries that would never totally disappear... In a world were titans were only a myth, things would be different. She would have plenty of time to discover the world, she wouldn't have to protect Eren from anything -except maybe from other men ? She would shine like the sun and live happy, without having to doubt about the future, the incertainity of their fate. Maybe, he could... No. It was better not to think about future. After all, they could die so easily. Human beings are such weak creatures...

"May I ask you something, captain ?"  
"You already did. What is it ?"  
"Eren... Would he be part of your squad again ? I know you're usually in the safest position of the formation, that's why..."

"Yes, he will. We must keep an eye on him. I suppose you wanted to stay with him."  
"It's alrght... I know he'll be safe. After all, you are the strongest soldier of mankind. I just wanted to be sure." He was surprised to hear such a compliment from her. She wasn't as fast nor as strong as he was, but she hadn't so much experience either. For a young soldier, she was pretty efficient. "On my part, I'll do my best to protect my side of the formation. This time, there will be no Female Titan against us... I still wonder why Annie did that. We weren't friends or anything, it's just... I would never have thought..."  
"No one did, that's noone's fault."

"Yeah, perhaps... But still. I always end up wondering why I am alive and not the others." She interrumpted herself. "Sorry. I had forgotten about your squad... You probably feel bad about that, 'don't need me to...-"  
"It's alright, Ackerman."  
They paused for a while. He thought of his comrades : Gunther, Eld, Petra, Auruo. They had all died because he had left them against that Female-form Titan. The worst was to think that, after that, he had stopped her, with Mikasa's help. She had been so desperate after Eren's capture that she would have dealed with anyone to save him. She always has to save his ass. She was a good warrior, but her feelings blinded her ; she could have died for being reckless or acting boldly. Still, things would have been different for the squad if she had joined them before. For Eren's sake, she would have killed the Female-form Titan without a doubt. Without caring of herself. In a way, Levi was happy that she hadn't been there. Happy that she wasn't dead like Petra, and the others. Happy that she could still fight and talk. No matter how traumatising her life had been, she never gave up. That simple thought made him grin a little.

"Hey, Ackerman, you should go to sleep now. You must be ready for tomorrow."  
"Is there anything special, tomorrow ?"  
"Sure. It's a new day. Maybe the last one. If we had only one month to live before the expedition, we should all enjoy our last moments. Don't you think ?" She stood there quietly, not knowing eactly how to reply. He yawned. "That's an order, soldier Ackerman. You must sleep."  
"But..." She saw him wearing a strange expression of tiredness and empathy. Something she had never seen before. Arguing would be useless. He was her captain, after all ; no matter how short, clean-freak and old he was, she had to obey him. He knew better than her what was the right thing to do. "Very well. Good night, sir. Remember to sleep, too."  
"Yeah, yeah..." She saluted him and turned her back on him, not feeling his gaze on her skin and hair. He got up and took the cardigan she had forgotten. Without a word, he followed the young woman, and covered her shoulders with the cloth when she was about to leave the roofs. She jumped a little. "There you are. You shouldn't let your clothes around."  
"Because they might got dirty ?"  
"Because you'll catch a cold. Leave me the teapot and the cups, I'll take care of it. Now, go to sleep."

She sighed, half-annoyed and half-thankful. The hint of a smile passed on her crimson lips, before she left Levi.

Later on that night, he walked noiselessly into the corridors, unnoticed. He found her room's door easily, he had once seen her entering in it, and remembered that Sacha Blouse and Christa Renz -or well, Historia Reiss- slept in the surrounding rooms. After a long, long hesitation, the captain opened the door to listen to the silence. If she was awake, she hadn't noticed him. If she wasn't... He stept in, quietly. Came closer to the bed. Gazed at the beautiful woman sleeping into the sheets, holding onto her scarf and cardigan. Caressed her shoulder-lengh dark hair and her blank face. Carefully kissed her forehead, making her shake a little. She didn't wake up, much to his relief. He regarded her peaceful face for a moment, wondering why he felt so peaceful when she was close. That night with her was the closest to happiness he had felt those last months. He could have forgotten the threatens of the people, of the titans, of Death itself, just by looking at that neutral expression. He would allow himself to cry or leave his emotions take control of himself as long as she would be there.

Because that night, Levi Ackerman understood he would always have someone like him. He would no longer be alone.

 **There it is ! I really wanted to finish with this before I left France for the holydays. Of course you can ask me if you have favorite couples or any ideas. I will write a Annie x Armin drabble as soon as possible.**


	2. Fever - Armin x Annie

**Fever - Armin x Annie**

Coughs in the night. An excedingly high temperature. Red cheeks and pale forehead. Heavy breathing. Wet face. Shaking hands.

"Drink this, Annie, it should help you...", the boy said softly, holding a glass of fresh water. He was tired too, but made no complain about the hours he had wasted in that room while he could have slept. After all, her pain must be a lot worse than his.

"It's... al-alright... Go to your room."

Her reply seemed very hard to pronounce, but he stubbornly repeated his offer.

"Come on. There's no shame in accepting to be sick. Just drink the medicine, and it'll be alright. You'll be okay."  
"I am okay", she managed to lie before coughing again. "You'll get sick too if you stay. Go... away-"  
"If I get a cold, then you'll have to bear with me even more than now. If you want me to leave this room, do what the doctors said. Do it or else I call everybody to help me."  
The thought of him coming back with the whole 104th promotion of cadets made her cough. She sighed in despair. God, was he stubborn... Why couldn't he leave her like the others until her fever calm down ? Even Reiner and Bertold had understood that she just wanted some rest, alone. Why did he have to stay there ?

"Armin, you're..."

What was she about to say, the boy didn't know, because she began to cough again, and he had to help her so that she could sit down. She had catched a cold a few days before, after training far from the usual training camp. It had beginning to rain and, when she reached her dormitory, she was shaking like a leaf and so wet that she seemed to have been swimming in her casual clothes. The next day, she began to cough a little, and her head made her suffer. But she said nothing. They noticed her illness when she fell in the stairs because of a dizzy spell. Later that day, they learned that her fever had reached almost 40 degrees Celsius. It was incredible that she had hold on so well, but it also meant that she was in a very bad shape. She didn't eat well, and even found hard to drink or to breathe normally. Perhaps, if she had talked about her sickness the first day, she would have recover in a few hours. Now...

"Annie, please. It's dangerous to take this thoughtlessly. Why don't you want to heal ?"  
She didn't reply and tried to ignore him. And yet, by glancing at his anxious sapphire eyes, she felt guilty for being so mean to him. Of course it was very nice to stay with her and take care of her poor self, but hell, he should be tired by now... Where did he found all that energy not to sleep ?

"My fa-father used to..." - coughs - "say that taking a medicine was too easy. And that... I... I would be stronger by healing all alone."

"Oh." Was Armin's reply. He seemed to reconsider the situation for a moment, but then, he inhaled deeply and told her : "When I was a child, I was very weak and I got sick very easily. I couldn't do as well as others children in sports - I still can't. And I thought too that maybe, if I didn't take the medicine, my body would get used to the pain and I would become stronger. Actually, my state got worse and worse until my grand-pa found out what I was doing. I've never seen him so upset, and, how not, he made me take all the potions and everything. And, 'know what ? two days after, I had recovered ! I understood that everyone had been very anxious about me, that I just had played with my life dangerously... That's why I really think that you should take this and heal. Noone will ever know, I promise."  
She hesitated for a long while. His story have had an effect on her, and she couldn't bear that suffering any longer. But still, what would her father say... ? "Noone will ever know", he'd said. She would have wished he could be right. A few seconds later, the coughs came again, and her whole body shoke out of effort. The pain was so harsh, that she almost cried when her head finally fell on Armin's shoulder. She saw the reflection of her pain in his deep blue eyes and mumbled :  
"You won't say anything, right ?" He nodded, and she agreed to drink the glass of water. "Th...ank you."

"Your welcome, Annie. You'll be better very quickly, don't worry. Now rest. I'll have you something to eat, okay ?" He must have seen her confused glare, because he added : "I'm coming back soon, don't worry. Sleep."  
His petite frame disappeared behind the door. The girl glared at it intently until he came back, and only then she allowed herself to turn her face so that he could think she was sleeping. She felt his hand on her forehead, checking her temperature. She knew he was listening to her respiration and forced it to sound regular and soft. And then, when she thought he would return to his room -finally-, he actually sat on the chair -his chair- and never left her. When she opened her eyes again, he was half-asleep and looked calm. Relaxed. Not knowing why, she asked him :

"Armin ? Will you stay here the whole night ?"  
"Yes", he replied without opening his eyes.

"Why ?"  
"It's a friend's duty to look over a sick friend."

"...Am I your friend ?"  
He chuckled a little, as if it was already an evidence. "Sure. Now sleep, Annie. You're tired too, 'en't you ? Do you want me to tell you a fairy tale ?"  
"Hell, no... But... Can I... Nothing, forget it."  
She was about to turn herself to the opposite direction when he took her hand to stop her. Thanks goodness that her cheeks were already red from the fever, because she had never blushed like this before. Not really aware of talking, Armin asked her if he could take her hand to sleep, so that he would notice her fever calming down. She managed to say "okay" and even offered him to leave his head on the bed, near her, to rest properly. He accepted that offer gratefully, and fell asleep a few minutes after that, holding her hand on his. She looked at him, at his angelic face relaxing, at his shoulder going up and down at the rhythm of his breathing. He wore a tiny, gentle, innocent smile. And Annie wondered if she would have been different by meeting him before. And she still wonders how she is supposed to betray him when he had always been a _good person_ to her. Maybe the only one, actually. Because he wasn't interested in her strenght or her good-looking, he liked Annie for the nice girl inside that tough body of hers.

He wasn't scared by her, even though he should. If things had been different, Annie would have liked to stay with him a little. She would even bother to fight anymore, she would just enjoy some time with him. But she was Annie Leonhart and her fate was already written by someone else. There was no way she could ever change it. There was no hope, no noble dream. Everything was an illusion. But Armin's hand, holding hers, was like a weight, reminding her that _he_ was real. That _she_ was real. And that maybe _everything_ she had tried to ignore until that day was too.


	3. Chapter 3

**A good action - Christa x Ymir (x Mikasa ?)**

"If you want me to", Christa was saying, "I can help you."

Mikasa looked up at her and sighed that she wouldn't refuse some help in healing her injuries. Ymir, from the other side of the girls' room, glanced at the two of them, and saw te little blonde one clean the several injuries that decored the Asian's back. Mikasa had had a hard training and many of her old scars have aroused again after she fell from a tree. A problem with her 3D Maneuver Gear, apparently. Even though she had cleaned most of the damages, she could look behind her, and her right shoulder was still too painful to move it. Christa, who had always been the nice, sympathetic girl of the group, proposed herself in every similar occasion : when someone needed something, she would always help.

Ymir _hated_ it. She hated to see that girl try to look like someone else. She wasn't the nice, little thing to defend ; if se wanted to, she could kill as efficently as Mikasa, for example. But she got used to trick everyone -and even herself- with that sneaky mask. Everyone, except Ymir. That tall freckled girl was able to look deep inside other people. She had first noticed that Sasha used to talk in a formal way to hide her rural accent ; she had seen from the beginning that Annie wasn't as passive as she seemed to ; and any time she would glance at Mikasa, the strong, violent, impassive one, she would only see an ocean of sadness, remorse and fear.

As for Christa, she could hardly understand her. She knew that she wasn't what se looked like, but she was such a good _liar_ that she couldn't say who she was. She didn't even know her real name, her history, nor she knew her role in te story they took part in. For instance, why a crybaby of er kind would join the Military in first place ? Why did she prefered the Survey Corps, and not the Military Police or the Garrison ? Was she just stupid ? Didn't she remembered how many of her friends and comrades have died in Trost's attack ?

No, Ymir couldn't definitely say who was the real _Christa Renz_. But she couldn't neither blame the girl from hiding herself ; after all, she was doing quite the same. Not saying anyting about your past was already a way to hide some dangerous pieces of information. Annie used te same method. Other people, Eren for example, weren't able to hide anything. From their first day in the Trainee Corps, the whole 104th promotion had knew everything about his hatred of the titans, about his mother's death, about his life in Shiganshina... That had been boring, in Ymir's eyes. That night, se had prefered to keep an eye on the quiet Mikasa, on the nervous Armin and, of course, on the _goddess_ Christa.

Who was it, already, that had given her such a ridiculous nickname ? Reiner, maybe ? Or Sasha ? Either ways, it was stupid and insulting. As if they could only imagine Christa as a nice, positive creature tat would give them something like hope or love or whatever. But she must admit that Eren's nickname - "suicidal bastard" - was kind of meant to be.

"Oi, Mikasa", the freckled Ymir said out of the blue, "you shouldn't train so hard. You already have as many scars as a life-long soldier. I bet even Commander Erwin hadn't so many."  
"Thanks for worrying, Ymir, but I just prefer training this way."  
"Oh, that's none of my business. If you just like to be trained by some violent irascible superior", Ymir stated with a smirk while Mikasa blinked, "it's your problem."  
"Y-Ymir !", Christa called out, not believing her ears. "That wasn't..."  
"Indeed, Ymir, it's none of your business", the Asian girl retorted stoicly. There was definitely nothing that could break her blank expression. "I'm not asking you how you protect your friends, after all."

As she was talking, she glanced at Christa, umperceptibly, knowing that the freckled one had understood her allusion. Ymir greethed her teeths, but replied nothing. Mikasa then thanked the sweet goddess of the 104th promotion and left the room, pretending she had something to do. As soon as she closed the door, the shortest complained about Ymir's attitude, not believing she had critiziced someone who has never done any harm to her. And it was true, Mikasa has never done anything to Ymir. Actually she had even saved Christa once, during their trainee years. But the freckled girl just loved to tease people, and, she would never admit it but the Asian girl was quite someone she respected. After all, her devotion to Eren, her strenght and her calm were qualities Ymir shared or would like to share. She, on her part, wasn't able to protect Christa half as well as the other would. And this was quite furiating.

"Why did you say that ? It was..."  
"Something _bad_ ?", Ymir completed, lying down on her bed. "And so ? Can't I have a little fun ?"  
"But Mikasa is quite nice, she never did anything to you... Why do you feel the need of being hated by everyone, Ymir ? You did the same with Connie, during the Trost's battle..."  
Her words sounded like truth itself. Yes, Ymir wanted to be hated by everyone around her. She didn't deserve happiness. She was a monster. She should have never lived and the world would be a better place if she wasn't alive. Ans Christa was asking why ? The answer seemed so chillingly clear to Ymir that she almost shook at that thought. She had no right of being loved by anyone. She had no right of having a caring sister like Mikasa, or a nice friend like Marco, or a lover... She just had to live with the burden of knowing she was horrible while the others just ignored it. And it felt horrible.

"Ymir ?"  
Christa's voice got lost in Ymir's mind. She could hardly feel anything at that sound, even though the blonde's voice was sweet and comforting, and adorable. She didn't want to feel anything ; it was better than feeling so empty inside and lost everywhere. Ymir didn't want to feel the goddess's hand on her hair, so warm and reassuring. She would have wanted to look up from her pillow and wear a cynical gaze like always, but her vision was blurred and tears were wet against the soft mattress. She couldn't even say why she was crying. There was no fucking reason for her to cry, for God's sake. And still, there she was, as vulnerable as a newborn. She wasn't supposed to react like that ; she was strong. She was emotionaly stronger than most cadets, except Mikasa maybe. Then why... ?

Christa gently ruffled her hair and caressed her vulnerable point, at the back of her neck, until her sobs calmed now. Then she said :  
"You always think you cannot deserve to be happy, right, Ymir ? That's why you don't let anyone get close to you. You think you had to be hated by anyone so that you get a punishment or something like that. And so what ? When you'll have suffered enough, what will you do ? Just apologize to Connie and Mikasa for having being rude to them for no reason ? Are you that dumb ?!"

"Shut up..." Her voice was pitiful.

"I'm not finished yet !", Christa replied, raising her voice. "You act rude and tough so that no one see through your damn shell !" Ymir grimaced at that statement. "Ymir !... Why don't you get your own advice... ? You told me once that I should not try to be someone else. And you must be right. But why don't you try to be yourself, for once ?"

No reply. Christa sighed and went to her bed, leaving Ymir alone with her thoughts. Almost an hour later, Mikasa came back to the dorm and was about to go to sleep when she heard Ymir saying -or, well, muttering :

"I'm sorry for what I said before. I didn't think it."  
The Asian soldier turned to face her ; although her face showed no emotion, she felt surprised that the freckled girl would apologise for that. After all, she hadn't taken it so personnally. And it was kind of true, actually, that she had many scars and she shouldn't train so much with Levi. But she simply said :

"There's no problem, Ymir. You don't need to apologise for being honest."

If she was honest, Ymir would have admitted that she admired her strenght and courage. But she wasn't, or at least, not always. Mikasa added :

"I forgive you, don't worry. Don't feel bad for it." She was lying on her couch already, her limbs tired after so much training. "Goodnight, Ymir."

The freckled one wished her a good night as well and, a little relieved, she fell asleep. Little did she know about Christa not being asleep, and who was now smiling in the dark.


End file.
